Life, But Not As We Know It

by tomwrightdreamer

galaxy-infinity-milky-way-110854 (1)

ULRIKE and MUN YI are sitting on some rocks, surrounded by thick primordial soup with a green film on it.

MUN YI:   Seriously though, what were you expecting?

 

ULRIKE:   I don’t know.

 

They stare at the goup.

 

ULRIKE:   It’s just. . .

 

Silence.

 

ULRIKEL:  I don’t know. It was just,.. I thought it would be.. . That we would find. . . Something else.

 

MUN YI:   You thought we’d find Greys didn’t you?

 

Pause.

 

MUN YI:   Come on, you thought we’d find big gangly grey aliens with big heads who’d try and probe you?

 

ULRIKE:   No! No, I was not imagining probing. I just thought we’d have a chat.

 

Silence. The slime pops.

 

MUN YI:   But it is life. We’re not alone! After all this time, life!

 

ULRIKE:   Yeah.

 

Pause

 

ULRIKE:   It’s just. I thought it might have the answers for us.

 

MUN YI:   What answers?

 

ULRIKE:   You know, the answers to the big questions.

 

MUN YI:   What, the answer to life, the universe and everything?

 

ULRIKE:   Fuck off.

 

MUN YI:   Well then?

 

ULRIKE:   Just, how we could be better. How we could stop making such a fucking mess of it all.

 

MUN YI:   And what might they say?

 

ULRIKE:   Like, love one another, treasure your precious little planet, grow up and stop squabbling. That kind of thing.

 

MUN YI:   But we already know all of that, don’t we?

 

ULRIKE:   Yeah. I suppose.

 

MUN YI:   We already know that that’s the answer, right?

 

ULRIKE:   Yeah.

 

MUN YI:   But we don’t do it do we?

 

ULRIKE:   No.

 

MUN YI:   So, why would we do it if a gangly grey alien with a big head told us to do it? In fact, if a gangly grey alien with a big head turned up and told us to all love each other and treasure our precious little planet, grow up and stop squabbling, what would we do?

 

ULRIKE:   We’d tell it to fuck off?

 

MUN YI:   And?

 

ULRIKE:   We’d nuke the fucker.

 

MUN YI:   We would nuke the fucker.

 

ULRIKE:   So it’s probably just as well, I guess.

 

MUN YI:   I guess so. Pause. And what have we learnt from this particular alien, the small green gloopy one?

 

Silence.

 

The slime goes pop.

 

ULRIKE:   (Puts her finger in her mouth and pops it.)

 

MUN YI:   (Nods. Puts her finger in her mouth and pops it.)

 

Silence.

 

The slime goes pop.

ULRIKE and MUN YI are sitting on some rocks, surrounded by thick primordial soup with a green film on it. 

MUN YI:   Seriously though, what were you expecting? 

ULRIKE:   I don’t know.

They stare at the goop. 

ULRIKE:   It’s just. . .

Silence.

ULRIKEL:  I don’t know. It was just,.. I thought it would be.. . That we would find. . . Something else.

MUN YI:   You thought we’d find Greys didn’t you?

Pause.

MUN YI:   Come on, you thought we’d find big gangly grey aliens with big heads who’d try and probe you? 

ULRIKE:   No! No, I was not imagining probing. I just thought we’d have a chat.

Silence. The slime pops.

MUN YI:   But it is life. We’re not alone! After all this time, life!

ULRIKE:   Yeah.

Pause

ULRIKE:   It’s just. I thought it might have the answers for us.

MUN YI:   What answers?

ULRIKE:   You know, the answers to the big questions.

MUN YI:   What, the answer to life, the universe and everything? 

ULRIKE:   Fuck off.

MUN YI:   Well then?

ULRIKE:   Just, how we could be better. How we could stop making such a fucking mess of it all.

MUN YI:   And what might they say?

ULRIKE:   Like, love one another, treasure your precious little planet, grow up and stop squabbling. That kind of thing.

MUN YI:   But we already know all of that, don’t we?

ULRIKE:   Yeah. I suppose.

MUN YI:   We already know that that’s the answer, right?

ULRIKE:   Yeah.

MUN YI:   But we don’t do it do we?

ULRIKE:   No.

MUN YI:   So, why would we do it if a gangly grey alien with a big head told us to do it? In fact, if a gangly grey alien with a big head turned up and told us to all love each other and treasure our precious little planet, grow up and stop squabbling, what would we do?

ULRIKE:   We’d tell it to fuck off?

MUN YI:   And?

ULRIKE:   We’d nuke the fucker.

MUN YI:   We would nuke the fucker.

ULRIKE:   So it’s probably just as well, I guess.

MUN YI:   I guess so. Pause. And what have we learnt from this particular alien, the small green gloopy one?

Silence.

The slime goes pop.

ULRIKE:   (Puts her finger in her mouth and pops it.)

MUN YI:   (Nods. Puts her finger in her mouth and pops it.)

Silence.

The slime goes pop.

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